I was 32 when we had our first child. I cried all the way home from the hospital. I remember turning to my husband and asking if those nurses were crazy, sending that poor little helpless baby home with me. I was positive I was going to break her. I had her doctor and the emergency room on speed dial, and they answered so many questions, they started recognizing the sound of my voice. As a toddler, she was an unfortunate combination of intelligence, curiosity and fearlessness. Baby gates and locked doors did nothing to deter her, she was a baby Houdini, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to keep her alive long enough to reach 1st grade, but we made it, she graduates high school this year. She was the perfect child; polite, caring, loving, studious, eager to please, and I guess I was a little too smug in this, because when I was 41, God sent us the miracle of our second child. Our second little angel was colicky-for the first 4 years. She ran with scissors and did not play well with others. It still amazes me that the exact same set of parents could produce such 2 entirely different children! Whereas baby 1 didn't feel the need to talk until she was about 3, baby 2 started speaking recognizable words long before her first birthday, and was talking in complete sentences by the time she was 18 months old. She mainly used those words to tell us what was wrong, and what we needed to do NOW to fix it. Her first sentence was "Mama, I wanna nur." (I was, and am, a huge supporter of breast feeding). I was never just Mama to her, I was Mama-nur-me. Seriously, that is what she called me until she was about 4. And whereas I kept losing baby Houdini, baby 2 just sort of migrated out of the womb to the left side of my body, and fused herself there. I got very adept at doing things one handed. I was pretty sure that she was going to be the death of me before she reached school age, but we made it. As her sister goes off to college, she will still be in Elementary school. Like a good wine, she started off a little sour, but she grows more and more amazing every day. Her exuberance, love of life, and her original perceptions, keep her father and I much younger than whatever the calendars say we should be.
So, what is a mother? She is someone who will drive your butt though 4 states to look at colleges....twice, because you need to see a couple of them again before you can make up your mind. She is someone who apologizes for screaming at you when you throw her car into second gear while going 60 on the highway. (And then is able to use it as a teaching moment by pointing out the fact that if we hadn't been wearing our seat belts, we probably both would have been thrown through the windshield.) She is the person sitting next to you with white knuckles as you drift out of your lane and vary your speed between 45 and 75 on the highway, but gives the finger to anybody who has the audacity to honk at you. (Not because she felt you didn't deserve it, but because it scared you!)
She is a person who, after spending 2 days hauling your sister's butt around 4 states looking at colleges, will jump on a bus with you and 30 some odd other little girls so you can sing at various nursing homes in a neighboring state. (and stay the night in a hotel with a swimming pool.)
As for my own Mom, she has always been my biggest supporter. In her eyes, there is nothing I cannot do. When the whole world seems against me, she is always there with tea and empathy. "It's okay darling, that baby is not nearly as fragile as you think. You can't break her." "Colic is just a stage, it won't last forever, she'll grow out of it." If it wasn't for her, I am not sure I would have been able to survive my own motherhood. Thanks Mom!
To any other Moms out there who may be reading this, with your own trials and tribulations with motherhood, stop for a second, and take a couple of slow, deep breaths, and meditate for a moment on the fact that you have taken on the most important job in the world. Consider for a moment the phrase 'the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world'. It is easy to get bogged down in all the minutia of motherhood. Wiping runny noses, changing dirty diapers, the constant taxi-ing around of kids, the endless piles of laundry, and having to answer the same darn question every night 'what's for dinner?' But occasionally, we need to take a step back and look at the big picture, and think about the legacy we are building, to thank God for the opportunity, and to congratulate ourselves on the job we are doing. (Unless of-course, you have a Mom like my Mom, then she will do that last one for you!)
If you are not yet a mother, chances are you have one. Take a moment to think about all of the caps and hats she has worn to get you to where you are now. Nurse maid, personal care attendant, ladies maid, chauffeur, chef, laundress, tutor, psychologist and psychiatrist. (and I didn't even mention the cheer leading pompoms!) After you've considered everything she's done for you-go give her a call and say thanks. Or better yet, blog about her, so every one can know what a great Mom she's been.
